We threw an annual bad movie night at my house with some friends last week and it was the second time in as many bad movie nights that I had picked out a beloved flick from my childhood that featured socially unacceptable relationships. There was a certain naivety that went with these films, because they were made in pre-Politically Correct America. And they behave accordingly.

3. Dodger is a child of abuse.

Do you remember the “Garbage Pail Kids”? They were collector’s cards in the 80′s that came packaged with the most rancid gum you have ever put into your mouth. The GPK popularity grew so much that there was a low budget live-action movie made about them. And this is where we meet the tragic character of Dodger, a 15-year-old whose parents are never seen or spoken of, that lives and works in antique shop run by “Cap’n Manzini”. Which in retrospect, sounds like a pedophiles screen name.

Dodger takes baths in front of the Garbage Pail Kids and Cap’n Manzini, he has drawn the ire of a white gang of late 20-year-olds, and he gets his ear sucked on by a crack whore.

''Pimpin' ain't easy.''

I know, the Michael Jackson jacket is not helping his cause, either.

As an aside, I feel it is my duty to warn you that “Garbage Pail Kids – The Movie” is a genuinely shitty flick. It’s not “So bad it’s good” as much as it is “So bad it’s hard to sit through”.

2. Lea Thompson is into bestiality

I have such fond memories of George Lucas’ “Howard the Duck”. I must have watched that movie a million times when I was a kid. No, literally… A million.

So imagine my glee when it showed up on Netflix Instant. I invited some friends over, made everyone wear party hats, and whipped up my special banana pudding recipe. Then we watched it.

As soon as the movie is over, I politely escort everyone out and rush to the internet. Did people know about this!?

Apparently, “Howard the Duck” was a huge flop. Not to the level of “Star Wars Christmas Special” or anything, but certainly a project Lucas would prefer to distance himself from.

I still liked it.

1. Princess Vespa is kind of a pedophile

This was actually pointed out to me by my friend, Craig Appleby. In “The Fly 2″ (1989), we follow Martin, a youngster with bizarrely accelerated growth, due to his father being Jeff Goldblum.

''May I lay eggs in you?''

By the time Martin is 5, he looks 25, with an uncanny resemblance to Eric Stoltz. Princess Vespa (which is a lot easier to spell than Daphne Zuniga) has been around since he was born. Which surprisingly doesn’t stop her from banging a 5-year-old.

She fights for his five-year-old love, he turns into a murderous giant fly, and everyone lives happily ever after.