Movies That You Wanted To Rent, But Didn’t: Screamers (1979)

August 7, 2013

Time again for a journey into the  renting regret abyss, where you the reader can help me determine if I did in fact make a mistake by not snatching up a particular VHS box at the local video store.  I was always a sucker for an “eye-catching” cover and I made more than my fair [...]

Read more →

The Battle: Vestron Video VS. New World Pictures

July 18, 2013

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant.  The Titanic vs. That Iceberg.  The Whopper vs. The Big Mac.  There have been many monumental showdowns throughout history, but possibly none more monumental than the one between Vestron Video and New World Pictures.  I really built that up for something that you may not even give a shit [...]

Read more →

Movies That You Wanted To Rent, But Didn’t: Black Roses (1988)

June 27, 2013

As mentioned in a previous post, there are movies specifically from the 80′s (because that’s when the VHS rental craze was booming) that I just couldn’t pull the trigger on while browsing in my local Mom & Pop video store.  I talked about 1985′s Junior and also about the post-apocalyptic 1986 crowd-pleaser, Dead End Drive-In. [...]

Read more →

My Healthy Obsession With Tim Ritter’s ‘Truth Or Dare’

June 7, 2013

Call it bad parenting or call it supporting the arts that I loved as a kid, but I still find it a little surprising that my parents let me watch Tim Ritter’s low-budget, enjoyable shitfest, Truth Or Dare when I was 11 years old.  The VHS box was catchy, I’ll give it that.  Blood flowing [...]

Read more →

Movies That You Wanted To Rent In The 80′s, But Didn’t…

May 30, 2013

We all have regrets in life.  Currently, I’m regretting eating a breakfast burrito.  But some of my biggest regrets throughout my life involve movies that I didn’t rent back in the 80′s.  Why are you laughing?  I took my VHS renting very seriously.  I’m going to give you two movies this time that pulled me [...]

Read more →

My Bathroom Series Part 8: “BUT WHERE DO I POO?!?!?!”

May 16, 2013

I like to pee and poo. No not in sexual situations…unless, you know…you’re cool with that…CALL ME! I didn’t mean that (unless you’re gonna do it), what I DID mean is sometimes nature calls and I will stumble upon a restroom I think is funny and I’ll write about it. You read it, think its [...]

Read more →

Is The VHS Cover Better Than The Movie: The Mutilator (1985)

May 3, 2013

I can remember it like it was yesterday, even though it wasn’t.  I was an 11-year-old boy strolling around my local Mom & Pop video store looking at all of the latest VHS covers in the horror section while occasionally peeking over to the ADULTS ONLY section that was blocked off with a classy shower [...]

Read more →

An Open Love Letter To ‘Flesh Eating Mothers’

April 23, 2013
Screen shot 2013-02-06 at 1.41.13 PM

Dear Flesh Eating Mothers, Hey there.  How have you been?  I know I said I wouldn’t contact you, but I couldn’t help myself.  I was sitting here reminiscing about our first date.  Remember that?  It was way back in 1988 on USA’s Up All Night, and we had a double date with Rhonda Shear and [...]

Read more →

REVIEW: “Easter Casket” Delivers Catholic Sex and Giant Rabbits

March 29, 2013

Dustin Mills is a special kind of twisted. As is displayed by some of the other titles he has directed such as “Night of the Tentacles” and “Bath Salt Zombies”. In Easter Casket, Mills taps into a uniquely cruel horror-comedy that any late-night cable lover could appreciate. There is no skimping on the nudity or [...]

Read more →

5 Movie Sequel Pitches Starring Robert Z’Dar

January 29, 2013
R4.5 starring Robert Z'Dar

Like you, I am a huge Rowdy Roddy Piper fan. Of course I love him in “They Live”, but he also plays the lead in one of the most underrated cult films I’ve ever loved in “Hell Comes to Frogtown”. He plays Sam Hell, one of the few fertile men left in the post-apocalyptic world, [...]

Read more →