Fuck yeah.

But I’m not here to talk about how awful it is, I’m not here to defend it, I’m not even here to defend Argento… This is not about debate, this is about pointing out an undeniable fact that I realized while watching Adrian Brody disappear into this comically stupid movie:

Dario Argento is one of the best directors of actors that has ever or will ever walk the face of the Earth.

“STFU!” you say, “The acting is the worst part of any Argento film!”

Of course it is… Consistently. And it’s not just bad consistently, it’s a specific kind of bad that is really an unmistakable trademark of Argento films. Sure, other Italian horror directors delivered the stink performance-wise, but Argento’s is still unique.

“WTF is your point, dude!? I have 9 billion other articles to read before I finish the internet and you’re wasting my time!”

My epiphany occurred while watching Adrian Brody perform in “Giallo”. This is a man that I took seriously in a movie about Danny Trejo getting murdered by uber-Predators. But the man completely transforms into a legitimate Argento movie character… Never showing the slightest glimmer of decent acting ability.

You could totally let Brody off the chain with no direction at all and you would never get this performance out of him. No, Dario Argento directed this accomplished, giant actor and every other poor bastard that has ever worked with him (including his own daughter) into a terrible performance that fits perfectly with every other character in the movie.

Now, you may not like the *direction* that Argento has chosen. It’s like spending 90 minutes at a strippers retirement home. Or something. But very few directors possess the ability to fine-tune performances to such a degree.

Also, how did Adrian Brody get through that whole movie and not know how shitty it was until he saw the finished product? Holy shit!

]]> http://couchcutter.com/2012/05/16/argento-is-one-of-the-best-directors-today/feed/ 0 http://couchcutter.com/2012/05/15/its-so-bad-the-light-saber-weilding-goose/ http://couchcutter.com/2012/05/15/its-so-bad-the-light-saber-weilding-goose/#comments Tue, 15 May 2012 04:00:42 +0000 David Anthony http://couchcutter.com/?p=2817 I have watched this 47 times in a row and it is still funny to me…

]]> http://couchcutter.com/2012/05/15/its-so-bad-the-light-saber-weilding-goose/feed/ 0 http://couchcutter.com/2012/05/14/the-dead-want-women-2012/ http://couchcutter.com/2012/05/14/the-dead-want-women-2012/#comments Mon, 14 May 2012 04:00:41 +0000 David Anthony http://couchcutter.com/?p=2811 I’m a pretty big Full Moon fan, but I have to admit, I was a tad underwhelmed by the trailer for “THE DEAD WANT WOMEN”. Sure it has Eric Roberts (!!!), but it just didn’t look like there was much to it.

Well there wasn’t necessarily much to it beyond living up to the title, which is more than enough for me. But it’s a fun ride with plenty of female flesh! Eric Roberts was great. Not exactly a “Star 80″ caliber performance, but definitely “Best of the Best” quality. This is just a quirky, sexy horror-comedy, in the vein of Full Moon’s own “Killer Eye” (1999).

Basically a bunch of rich 1930′s celebrities have an awesome private orgy arrangement. Like most awesome private orgy arrangements, this one ends in a senseless mass murder. But these horny devils won’t have it. Their sex crazed ghosts still haunt the joint, and when two hot blondes show up decades later to move the real estate, they become the object of Eric Roberts’ penis’s affection.

So yeah, it doesn’t break any barriers, but “THE DEAD WANT WOMEN” is a solid modern Full Moon release with plenty of hot nudity and reverse necrophilia!

 ★★★☆☆ 

]]> http://couchcutter.com/2012/05/14/the-dead-want-women-2012/feed/ 0 http://couchcutter.com/2012/05/11/pics-of-the-week-may-11-2012/ http://couchcutter.com/2012/05/11/pics-of-the-week-may-11-2012/#comments Fri, 11 May 2012 04:00:08 +0000 David Anthony http://couchcutter.com/?p=2778 Texas Frightmare Weekend was last Friday, so great stuff has been popping up on my social media stream all week.

Add me on Facebook and Twitter (I will reciprocate), so I can post event pics that you share online!

First off, here is a great one from DEAR GOD NO! star, Nick Morgan. It appears that “Human Centipede 2″ star, Laurence Harvey has been initiated into The Impalers biker gang…

You can’t take these guys anywhere…

Nick and co-star Shane Morton at the Dear God No! screening:

Here is Jayson Champion with the brilliantly talented Clint Howard…

Father’s Day’s Adam Brooks and Conor Sweeney go back in time.

With pals…

I would buy all of these and learn how to bowl in a werewolf suit because I think they look cooler as the disembodied heads of a werewolf victim. I don’t even know why people are calling these”Zombie Heads”. But I guess that has a better ring to it than “Decapitated Bowling Balls.”

Check out the official TROMA MOVIES channel here.

This time we are giving away a $1500 website from Lame Villain to celebrate the new DearGodNoMovie.com!

There are two ways to enter:

On Twitter -

Follow @lamevillain and Retweet this message in full…

Follow @lamevillain and RT to WIN a $1500 horror, cult, or exploitation website! http://bit.ly/JpWNzR #bloodbutter

On Facebook –

Like Lame Villain on Facebook and share the image at this link to your profile wall…
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=299183760165016&set=a.299183753498350.68716.281740865242639

It’s so simple, a hemorrhoid could do it!

The rules:

On June 4, 2012, we will put all of the entries into a randomizing program to choose the winner.

You can enter more than once by Retweeting or Sharing on your Facebook wall multiple times. But we can only accept one entry per person every 24 hours. So no need to spam it up or anything.

The site has to be horror, cult, or exploitation oriented. Whether you are a blog, a band, a movie, a personality, podcast, etc. As long as you are reasonably associated with horror, cult, or exploitation culture, you are good.

You *have to* use your $1,500 credit within 2 weeks of winning the giveaway.

Your $1,500 credit is non-transferable.

If you have any questions, please contact lamevillain.

This movie just does not get enough love. I think it would have been a lot more well received if it didn’t have the Halloween franchise name attached to it. However, it has Tom Atkins and the OCP chairman from Robocop 1 & 2.

Sounds awesome to me…

The new DEARGODNOMOVIE.com launched yesterday. Now you can watch the trailer on a drive-in screen any time you like.

Visit it here: deargodnomovie.com

The site was designed by LameVillain.com

Bill Whitney is the slightly disturbed son of a bunch of rich assholes. *Beverly Hills* rich assholes.

He doesn’t feel like he belongs because his parents leave him out of just about every family function imaginable. His popularity at school is never really explained in depth in the film. One minute, he is in the lead for class president, the next he has trouble getting an invite to a party.

Bill’s sister’s ex-boyfriend convinces him that his family is having incestual orgies. This story goes over great with Bill’s psychiatrist and mysterious shit starts happening.

I can’t really get into why I love this movie as much as I do without getting into spoilers, but it has one of the greatest climaxes ever put to film. It’s also a great exploration on the divide between the filthy rich and the rest of us. And there is a hair-eating fat woman.

Find a way to see this fucking movie! It’s awesome!

 ★★★½☆