With the new Piranha 3-D on the way I thought I’d touch on a subject that I’m sure many of our readers have ranted, rallied , and generally bitched about before. Remakes.
Hollywood has obviously gone remake crazy. The market has been flooded over the past few years with remakes of films, that frankly, didn’t NEED to be remade.
Hollywood being the evil, vile creature it is STILL succeeds on making money off not only the general audiences who’ll watch anything, but also the horror “purists” who refuse to watch the remakes. They do this by releasing special edition blu-rays and dvds on the remakes launch, thereby capturing both markets.
Now rather than continue shaking my little fist and swearing I’m not wrong, I’ve thought of a compromise that can make money for the evil big-wigs, while giving us neutral little-wigs some worthwhile entertainment.
Now your gonna have to bear with me a little here, and suspend your disbelief in the Hollywood system.
Not all remakes are bad. There. I said it. And YOU need to accept it. Want Proof?
*Honorable mention goes to Little Shop of Horrors, which despite the original having Jack Nicholson and not being a musical was still a superior remake.
Anyway my point is some things could do with a remake. Granted it’s been years since I saw Piranha, but I remember I couldn’t finish it because it was so bad. Now to put that in perspective, one of my favorite films is Troll 2, which is quite possibly the worst movie ever made. It has NOTHING to do with Troll 1, or Trolls in general. In fact the whole film is about Goblins and the word Troll is NEVER used! Plus as far as my movie “career” I’ve worked exclusively in TROMA or TROMA ‘escue films and I STILL thought Piranha sucked!
So…here’s my idea.
Rather than remake tv shows or old films, what about taking tv miniseries’ and making a concise 90 minute films out of ‘em?
Think about it.
The Stephen King series’ alone would be worth it. ’It’, ’The Stand’, hell even ’Rose Red’ would be good as a normal streamlined non commercial break segmented film.
I think they really dropped the ball with V. I REALLY liked the original miniseries, but I think, especially with new technology, V could have been a bad ass one shot movie. Not to mention that in a movie we could’ve had the chance to see Morena Baccarin’s boobs….and who hasn’t wanted that since the Firefly series?
And…that’s…..that’s all I…..boobies……
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