Seriously!? A Toxic Avenger Remake With John Travolta!!!!

by on August 23, 2012  •  In Seriously!?

You may have seen this report on a much much shittier site than ours… It’s not called Bottom Feeders but it SHOULD BE! (also just for clarification, I don’t insult this site for its content so much as that it views other similar sites such as “Dread Central” or “ItsOntheGrid” as  “Credible Sources”)

Anyway if they are to be trusted, it looks like Vincent Vega may take some role in the supposed $100 Million remake of “The Toxic Avenger” by Troma Entertainment.

Now when it comes to Troma there are a few types of people….

Those that have worked for Troma and those who have not.

Those that have had films distributed through Troma and those who have not.

Those who have in some way been fucked over by Troma and/or Lloyd Kaufman himself…and those who have not.

I know people on both sides of these fences and I can see their points….

Like the Decepticon group Astro-Train…or whatever. David doesn’t allow me in the CouchCutter writer’s meetings because I’m usually either drunk or passed out…..or writing for his site for free…but he forgets that last par-where’s the vodka?

But for me personally, I feel like I knew what I was getting into…..a lot of work for little or no pay or recognition and some people that can treat you like shit because there’s 10 motherfuckers that look just like you that can take your place at any moment…BTW I work in the mainstream media now…and at any given time there are 10 motherfuckers that look just like me that can take my place at any moment…so for me it was good practice.

But back to the topic of Toxie remakes….a friend from Australia (I’m multicultural!) pointed out to me on Facebook the possibility of Travolta in a new Toxie film, and the need to stop this from happening.

Unfortunately this is the only response I can give….

Those rights are once again temporarily sold, so it is out of Troma’s hands.

Years ago New Line Cinema temporarily bought the rights to The Toxic Avenger claiming they were looking to do a remake. But that’s not why they got them, they were about to lose the rights to The “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” which was a hit and they wanted to do a sequel…so they used Toxie as a bargaining chip on the rights to TNMT (The Toxic Crusaders Cartoon was a hit at the time)  threatening that if they resold to a different company, NewLine would do a Toxie remake and release it at the same time….and it worked, New Line made “The Secret of the Ooze” and Troma couldn’t make another Toxie movie till the contract was over at the end of the 90′s. After all that happened, Lloyd vowed he’d never again sign the rights away to his most valued mascot. In fact about a year ago he hired a Canadian guy to write a script for Toxie 5….Then all of a sudden these rumors of a Toxie remake popped up, and suddenly the Toxie 5 project turned into a sequel of “Class of Nuke ‘Em High” which is shooting NOW. So I don’t know what he was promised or how much he got….but I hope it was worth whatever crap we receive.

And I don’t want to issue false hope on the possibility…but I will say this..When I was younger I was a HUGE fan of Tarantino…I loved Natural Born Killers (he wrote it), True Romance (wrote that one too) and  Reservoir Dogs (Wrote, Directed, Acted in), So when it was announced he was doing a new pic with a then washed up Bruce Willis and even more washed up Travolta I was skeptical…till I watched Pulp Fiction for the first time.

As is obvious in my previous articles on the subject,  I don’t like remakes….But I do still feel it necessary, even in today’s modern CGI everything/pander to the lowest common denominator society to give most remakes a fair shot…

After all as I said in that article…John Carpenter’s “The Thing” REMAKE, That hilarious musical “Little Shop of Horrors” REMAKE.

Sure there are more misses than hits…but like I always say, “If you just walk up to a random girl and tell her you’d like to fuck her…. 9 out of 10 times you’ll get slapped….but that 10th time makes all the difference”

Chace Ambrose

Chace Ambrose

Chace Ambrose is a handsome millionare, he owns a mansion and a yacht. When not sexing up supermodels he is a contributor to couchcutter.com