Why grown men shouldn’t wear makeup and play with children. (And a review for “The Last Circus”)

by on August 21, 2012  •  In Articles, Reviews

This artist certainly wasn’t insane

The clown. The greatest thing to have at a child’s birthday party. Nothing makes a young person’s face light up quite like a clown dancing around, juggling, and making balloon animals for the guests. The comical genius of a clown is nothing short of amazing. Actually, FUCK THAT, clowns are fucked up.

Let’s face it, if you grew up in the same era as me, then you think clowns are downright creepy (with good reason). Not just because of the movie “It” or hearing about John Wayne Gacy dressing as a party clown and then luring young boys to an unimaginably horrendous death. No, they are creepy because it’s generally grown men dressing up, putting on makeup and hanging out with young children. Just think about that statement for a minute “grown men putting on makeup to hang out with kids”… Yeah. That behavior sums up the word “pedo” for me and makes me think of throwing all the clowns onto pedo island (a fake prison island I just made up that should be real). So maybe that’s why the “evil clown” works so well in horror movies.

Am I the only one that was afraid of a clown coming through my toilet as a child?

I know I’ve spent a few restless nights worrying about a clown coming up through the sewer to steal my brother, which made for some awkward times when I actually did see clowns at the occasional birthday party. I once even threw up on my parents after being frightened by a clown at a haunted house (hey, I was 2, give me a break). So, after all these years and plenty of desensitization, I’ve decided that clowns are the perfect evil monster/bad guy in movies. They look funny, sure, but behind the facade is a creeper and that can never change. I even get the strong urge to punch juggalos because they love clowns. But who can blame me? Haven’t any of you had the strong urge to punch a clown, or a juggalo, for being so damn creepy? Hell, even crappy musicians have taken to the clown motif just to make themselves seem more evil (and to probably mask their own lack of talent).

A face even their own mothers could punch

Now I can’t be totally prejudiced about all clowns, even though they are all creepy. We all grew up with Bozo the Clown and it was fun up until our childhoods were shattered by some crappy rendition of Bozo at a backyard get together. So there can still be some good left for a clown, even if it’s just a passing memory. But today, clowns should be the antithesis of happy-go-lucky fun guys dressed in ridiculous costumes. No, they should be the answer to your childhood fears and they should illicit violence on the cinema screen. Which brings me to “the Last Circus”!

 

This little circus of a film just happened to come across my screen late the other night. I had heard a little about it from random tidbits on the web, but had no idea what it was about, so I decided to go for it. And what an “it” it was! Based in 1937 Spain, the movie starts off as a circus, literally, in the midst of a war. Two clowns making light of a dire situation outside while bombs are dropping all around. After a moment, a platoon of soldiers breaks into the circus tent and recruits the whole circus to fight. Fast forward a bit and you get to see a clown in a large dress brutally hacking his way through a forest of soldiers with a machete (my kind of beginning). Well, without giving up too much, because I really don’t like to just spout out a storyline, we fast forward 34 years to the life of our knife wielding clown’s son. And following in his father’s footsteps (of course) we get the second generation of messed up clown. Because when you’re a kid and you watch your clown father go nuts, it’s only natural that you go nuts and dress up as a clown. Hired as a “Sad Clown” with the local circus, our Sad Clown encounters a random bunch of misfits that make up the cast of this insane little circus. After getting acquainted with the cast, he quickly falls in love with the “Happy” clown’s wife Natalia. And that’s where the jealousy, anger, intense wife beatings and utter violence begin. You see, Natalia is attracted to the violent type (aren’t all the hot girls that you like attracted to douchebags?) and Sergio (the Happy Clown) is one violent fucking clown. Well, our Sad Clown slowly disintegrates with love and being bullied by Sergio and then goes insane. Then the movie just gets crazier and crazier. Everything from extreme wife beatings to a hot iron on the face, this movie gets more and more wild til it comes to a violent end.

Now I can’t say that this movie is totally messed up, because it’s not (at least in my standards) but it is pretty wild. The violence is interesting, at least, and the story isn’t so bad but some of the CGI leaves me kind of wanting more. I really just can’t stand CGI, for the most part. But other than that fact, this movie does quite well for itself, given the clown factor and the extreme violence and violent sex (oh, I forgot to mention Natalia’s fetish for getting beaten). The actors and actresses do quite well in portraying the circus as a weird and creepy place and the freaks are pretty genuine. I’d say this movie is something worth checking out, if even just to watch clowns get absolutely crazy and violent! BRING IN THE CLOWNS… so long as there’s blood involved.

Rating: ★★★½☆ 

 

Nasty Nate

Nasty Nate

Crazy ex-Mormon, lover of filth, scumbag extraordinaire. Only the sickest in cinema will do.